My life, My words, My strife, My awards, My sins, My achievements, My love, My all….
Ruffled thoughts, his eyes ain’t open.
Throbbing, not last night’s but this morning.
Breeze so cold, his hood a robbing.
I found the bottom when I removed the top.
Fell deep but was not a flop.
Green fairies hang over my bed stand.
Purring, pussy drink.
Iced and black I think.
Third trip, face lands in crate.
Beautiful eyes search for mine.
Coarse milk to my throat.
Missed her walk by; drunk.
Read part 1 of this story here.
It has been exactly a month and 2 days since the first post by this title. Since then I have embarked on my other interests: Music, poetry, football and movies/series. I actually slowly got addicted to this prose thing. I guess because I don’t have to answer questions like: “What did you mean by that poem?” or “Are you ok?” or “Are you having suicidal thoughts?”. That last one. 😀 You really don’t have any idea how much I love myself do you? Anyway, since then, several people have kept asking for a continuation to the story. Some are just stalkers as I was accused to be just because I was crushing on the beautiful Ess. (Yeah, we actually tell her name now. Why hide when my blogger friends made sure the post got to her?). Others are hopeless romantics who really want this story to have a happy ending and the rest are some who just love to see the world burn in this case my torment.
In any case, since then the following has transpired. Soon after the hot ears and cold sweats were gone. (Who am I lying to? I had to stay off her blog to stay sane). But really, the best thing about a crush is that it actually comes to an end. And then one can see the person for who they really are. And end it did. I was now reading her blog and still do for the awesome writing skills that she has. (I cannot say fashion tips…she does dresses and lipstick and my rock phase is long over otherwise I would have asked for advice on how best to put on black make up and be stylishly goth.) And let me tell you, the girl has talent. She uses very simple words and a lot of pictures (Still not good for my sanity) to pass really good information across. She does walk her talk. In a nutshell, no other poems have been forthcoming. Not that I wouldn’t want to do that but at this point I would actually want to have her read them. I don’t plan on forgetting her though sometimes some of my friends think I have and keep sending me links to her new posts. (You people are the worst. Dare I mention all these friends are girls??). In the present I can honestly say this (and hopefully my future wife never has to see this), she is the girl of my dreams. Not because I don’t believe that she also could be a reality but I was born an idealist and grew up to be a realist. There are several parameters that would have to be examined before this came to pass. Several hurdles to be jumped and probably a few hearts to be broken.
I am writing this when in a rush as I pack to leave for Angola. My OCD prone nerves will make me check and recheck for my passport till I leave it on the table. At the moment, my heart might be in the right place but my mind isn’t. I will therefore keep this post short. For those who have no idea who the lady is, I can’t post her pictures for I am pretty sure they are copyrighted. But I did supply the link to her blog above. In closing, I believe the best way to put my point across is through these lyrics from J. Cole’s “Dreams”:
Seems like I always had crushes on chicks I couldn’t have
And then I end up f***ing with someone I shouldn’t have
See, in my mind, it’s like I’m perfect for her, I gotta show her
But sadly, in reality, dog, I don’t even know her
But still somehow she got my mind infatuated
Absolutely fascinated with the thoughts of what she might be like
Time after time after time I had to wait, is-…
Is fate procrastinating?
I can take it ’cause I might be right.
Waxing lyrical, my words are philosophical.
Competition empirical, my life is spiritual.
I am mastering my fate. Learning to simmer the hate.
Getting up from my fall. Becoming a captain to my soul.
I shift my keys when typing. Capitalizing on your yapping.
My prose and poetry is in cursive. Connected so in your mind they are intrusive.
Look at the world try to run the bandit. I need it to learn, I hypnotise I’m the Gambit.
They call me a poet. Fools, I am Nike, I just do it.
I have been shamed, I’ve been blamed.
But one day on your walls, I’ll be framed.
I don’t spit, maybe I ain’t got enough saliva.
But at the rhyme’s end I am the lone survivor.
I’m an African that’s how I know I can.
Had a constipated mind. That’s why I de-Colon-ised.
Now I rhyme and flow in the languages of the world.
I don’t mime, I show up and free the hostages from the wild.
Laughing at the laxity of my lexicon.
Surpassing the sorcery of any septon.
Grappling with gaudy geekiness.
Fighting ferociously for word fielty.
Did I lose you in the annals of my hubris?
Left you at the junction of my thought maze?
The smile of my light will bring you bliss.
However long the eons you shall emerge from the haze.
For my heart is no longer on my sleeve but in my hands.
My hurt no longer in my sleep but in my words.
All things shall perish from.
Under the sky.
(Music alone shall live.) x 3
Never shall die.
The above was a voice practice verse that we used to do when I was in the mixed Alliance and Alliance Girls school choir. I know it’s hard to imagine I ever sang. Actually I still do. However, with a very raspy voice, thanks to years of screaming at rock concerts, football matches and of course the accompanying cold Milele (that’s Kenya’s greatest beer – Tusker – for those who might get lost early on in this post.)
I listen to very many genres of music. I have a favourite in at least each one that I know of. However growing up, this was not always the case. I grew up in the MCM and Channel O era. They say if she does not know of this, she’s too young for you but hey, girls my age are married or having kids 😀 . This meant the choice of genres of music was not that much and we did not have that fast internet we now pride ourselves in nor the easily available torrents and music DVDs. So do not judge the fact that I had a crush on Aaliyah, Mariah Carey (used to call her Maria then not Maryah), Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. I really did not have that many singers to choose from. However, in a weird way, my greatest crush was always one, the Late Lisa “left eye” Lopes. I have a thing for tomboy-ish girls like Keri Hilson, the old Rihanna etc. WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS??
It is no wonder that R n B was most predominantly my genre in my primary school life. I knew of the existence of Hip Hop but growing up in a household where the word kiss was almost taboo, how were you going to be singing along to Ice Cube, Dre, Mack Dre, Xzibit and Lost Boyz? You would probably spontaneously combust and end up in a heap of cussing ashes. (Yes I love writing curse that way). By the time I was joining high school, the Godfather of Genge (Nonini) , the best there ever was (E-Sir), Mr Lenny, Mr Googz, Vinny Banton and of course Nameless were becoming part of my life. We had the girls too. Wahu, Amani and I remember one Melissa de Blok. She was awfully cute. She still is. 🙂 Local Kenyan music became a big part of me and my patriotism made me shun foreign music. There were older groups before that but I was too young to have known their music like Limit X. And can someone remind me who sang that “Niongeleshe” song?
I especially hated rock music by then which I deemed noise. That was up until the beat dropped on the chorus to “It’s my life” by one Jon Bon Jovi. I am not good rather not great with rules and here was a chorus I could relate to. And thus my love for rock was born. In came Matchbox Twenty, Creed, Blink 182, The Corrs, The Calling, Maroon Five etc. I still hated Hip Hop. It was not as poetic as I found rock to be. Someone should have pointed me in the right direction.
This was to change so fast. I was barely out of high school when I encountered a Jay Z Album followed by a Nas one, A Common one and Talib Kweli’s “Beautiful Struggle” afterwards. I could barely believe how much I had missed all these years. All genres were dropped as I got accustomed to Hip Hop. I was listening to everything. From local to international Hip Hop. Even French Hip Hop. I started writing poems with punch-lines and I could hear the beat in my head. Its fiery lightning buzzing in my ears.
I am that guy that goes physically and internally crazy when parts of a certain song come up. I have had other songs that make me clench my fists and almost scream as the beat drops since Jon’s old rock song. I don’t know how many of these are anyone’s favourite but I will list them just as well.
Return of the Mack, get up!
What it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn’t.
Looking for a better way to get up out of bed
Instead of getting on the Internet and checking a new hit”
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take the page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place
I didn’t know I was lost
I didn’t know (didn’t know, didn’t know)
Of course, after all is said and done, the most current, blood-heating, bone-chilling, heart-bursting, dopamine-gushing, insanity roof-breaking song remains Idina Menzel’s Chorus from Let it go in Frozen immediately after these words:
My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back; the past is in the past!
For goodness sake there’s the word “fractals” in the song!!! I had to Google the word when I heard the song for the first time.
I have been in this world for over quarter of a century. I have listened to as much music as I can. From the best of Bob Marley to the Waterworld of Handel and the New Age of Enya. I have gone insane listening to Mozart, playing an invisible violin to Lindsey Stirling’s Crystallize. I am a child of the world. I exist in colour, in words, in art and most importantly in sound. They do not speak of the earthly bodies in heaven, these dust to dust bodies. There is no talk of paintings or murals there too. But they talk of harps, trumpets, singing etc. One thing is for sure. Music alone shall live.
I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
Leavin’ a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of gray
I pray all ten fade away
Seldom praise Him for the sunny days
And like His promise is true
Only my faith can undo
The many chances I blew
To bring my life to anew
Clear blue and unconditional skies
Have dried the tears from my eyes
No more lonely cries – Lisa Lopes/ TLC
Shakespeare compared life to a stage,
Yet by deep thinking it’s like a page,
A blank it is before you are born,
Then comes the moment that you put on life’s gown,
Though you hold the pen and decide what to write,
The Almighty God fills your pen with ink,
The past is always full of things you did not do right,
But leave it as it is for you used indelible ink.
Think of the present and write the best you can,
Use the best handwriting till your life is done,
Work hard so as to brighten your book,
Let it be attractive to those who look,
There is always the entry of another person,
That person adds another handwriting,
It might seem cumbersome to have one page to write on,
But hold on for what is between you is binding.
The future always appears unexpected,
It’s not once that you find it dented,
It’s as if somebody decided to crumple your page,
Everywhere you turn you find a thorny hedge,
Take life slowly for every hedge has a rose,
Life sometimes stinks but you can always hold your nose,
Better a dull life on this ground,
Than fiery fire instead of a crown.
Another one from TDB and his grandson
Doing something to change the world.
Still on hold.
Not so bold.
It’s like am waiting till I get some gold.
Nod like I can’t do it in my current mode.
My ideology to the public ensure its sold.
Not rich enough, powerful enough but still can offset some load.
Start an idea, change the mood.
However small still consider it good.
Through my words and ideas, revive some hood.
Never experienced poverty, slept without getting food.
Still got no laxity in helping however I could.
No angel just don’t see the point of having too much while others have too little.
Allow me to intrude your comfort zone don’t wanna be rude.
Point out the injustices leave you nude.
The divine bandit shoot ‘em up reload.
High as a kite.
We gonna win this fight.
Gonna take this flight.
As we have no fright.
I tell you this feels right.
We kill all fear tonight.
I am the divine bandit and I rhyme cos it’s my right.
My dreams I never lose sight.
Whatever the recipe I always take a bite.
Make a home for my wayward mind as I survey the site.
Look at my forefathers as I do this rite.
Pour a drink to them as I pray for height.
My heart and head are heavy never light.
So strong yet they ignore my might.
I breathe these words and make this verse tight.
I am on the weighing scale check my weight.
Love QWERTY but on this touch-pad I write.
I wanna continue but I got this date.
That I consider to be my fate.
So I’m never late.
Always early to open the gate.
I shine on these words at a higher rate.
You need not applause just make sure you never hate.
Back at me still biting the bait.
Too soon don’t rate.
Just set up a date.
To bring change and not with Cate.
Got potential to change their fate.
Not solo got the support of my mate, Ed not Nate.
Start up a few projects.
Listen to society not just object.
Understand the root of the problem before trying to eject.
Less our efforts just lead to more neglect.
Made a leaflet, the eye light.
Addressing issues uncensored that will definitely leave your stomach tight.
Kids dying while food we eyeing.
Human rights activists mysteriously dying.
The church joining in their game of lying.
Corruption, embezzlement and negligence around us flying.
Not enough just praying.
A foundation to bring change we should all be laying.
Starts with you as an individual before our neighbors we start slaying.
Hope my words lead to some gratification.
Strong willed cos of my affection.
Raise the alarm get some attention.
Try to facilitate their accessibility to basic needs and highlight their oppression.
This my consideration of an ultimate penetration.
The Divine Bandit™ 