Crush, Deep and overstood, Love


Read part 1 of this story here.

It has been exactly a month and 2 days since the first post by this title. Since then I have embarked on my other interests: Music, poetry, football and movies/series. I actually slowly got addicted to this prose thing. I guess because I don’t have to answer questions like: “What did you mean by that poem?” or “Are you ok?” or “Are you having suicidal thoughts?”. That last one. 😀 You really don’t have any idea how much I love myself do you? Anyway, since then, several people have kept asking for a continuation to the story. Some are just stalkers as I was accused to be just because I was crushing on the beautiful Ess. (Yeah, we actually tell her name now. Why hide when my blogger friends made sure the post got to her?). Others are hopeless romantics who really want this story to have a happy ending and the rest are some who just love to see the world burn in this case my torment.


In any case, since then the following has transpired. Soon after the hot ears and cold sweats were gone. (Who am I lying to? I had to stay off her blog to stay sane). But really, the best thing about a crush is that it actually comes to an end. And then one can see the person for who they really are. And end it did. I was now reading her blog and still do for the awesome writing skills that she has. (I cannot say fashion tips…she does dresses and lipstick  and my rock phase is long over otherwise I would have asked for advice on how best to put on black make up and be stylishly goth.) And let me tell you, the girl has talent. She uses very simple words and a lot of pictures (Still not good for my sanity) to pass really good information across. She does walk her talk. In a nutshell, no other poems have been forthcoming. Not that I wouldn’t want to do that but at this point I would actually want to have her read them. I don’t plan on forgetting her though sometimes some of my friends think I have and keep sending me links to her new posts. (You people are the worst. Dare I mention all these friends are girls??). In the present I can honestly say this (and hopefully my future wife never has to see this), she is the girl of my dreams. Not because I don’t believe that she also could be a reality but I was born an idealist and grew up to be a realist. There are several parameters that would have to be examined before this came to pass. Several hurdles to be jumped and probably a few hearts to be broken.


I am writing this when in a rush as I pack to leave for Angola. My OCD prone nerves will make me check and recheck for my passport till I leave it on the table. At the moment, my heart might be in the right place but my mind isn’t. I will therefore keep this post short. For those who have no idea who the lady is, I can’t post her pictures for I am pretty sure they are copyrighted. But I did supply the link to her blog above. In closing, I believe the best way to put my point across is through these lyrics from J. Cole’s “Dreams”:

Seems like I always had crushes on chicks I couldn’t have
And then I end up f***ing with someone I shouldn’t have
See, in my mind, it’s like I’m perfect for her, I gotta show her
But sadly, in reality, dog, I don’t even know her
But still somehow she got my mind infatuated
Absolutely fascinated with the thoughts of what she might be like
Time after time after time I had to wait, is-…
Is fate procrastinating?
I can take it ’cause I might be right.

2 thoughts on “THE ECSTASY OF HER ESSENCE part 2”

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