Life, Prose, Work


I have been meaning to write this for a while now but the inspiration comes then time goes. We all know how that works. Let’s hope this time I see it all the way through.

I have been an admin of several whatsapp groups. Usually the ones that are for a quick reason and then are quickly disbanded or those that are noisy then fizzle out and die. Others include family groups. I remember being an admin of our nuclear family one at one point. That role was well handed over to one of the elder siblings at one point.
However, the one group I have indulged myself the most in, to the core, is my high school group. I did write a post last year about all the work they have done and continue to do. This will not be the topic though as the title already sold out. It is about the unexpected but not unwelcome insights gained from having to constructively manage the conversations that happen in a group of over 100. One hundred very unique minds. Some of these lessons I may have come across before in my career but I hope this puts it in a more relatable and palatable format.

  1. Empathy is the only way I can truly hear you.

The reason I made sure to mention the number of people in the group and how unique they all are is to articulate how differing their opinions would be. Without truly understanding why someone is whom they are; the journey they have been on and the path they are still walking. I can never truly relate to why they reason the way they do. This also means I am seeing them through a blurred lens when they opine contrary to me or the usual world view. Leading sheep is easy, it’s the GOATs that present a problem. 😉 Any football manager knows that.
I won’t say I have everyone or anyone figured out. Fortunately or unfortunately, they don’t all post at once or always. I do however know I breathed easier once I removed myself from the discussions or arguments. The view gets way wider and brighter when you step back.

  1. A leader’s reaction always outweighs the original action by those he leads.

We are all prone to emotion. We get angry, we get sad, we feel irritated by different events, actions or even words. Yes, we would all benefit from having a little bit of Emotional Intelligence (EI) but nothing can fix it when the leader is the one who has lost it.
No matter what a member has done. The next action by the admin, be it a warning or a removal has to be carried out in the most unbiased, objective way possible. With this said, it also means, not everything needs an immediate action. Emotions calm down after a few hours. That is the best time to discuss the next course of action.

  1. Leaders don’t put people on scales, they find the balance.

The admin of a WhatsApp group being answerable for the group content (as per the laws of our land last time I checked) means coming up with group rules. In such a situation there will always be proponents and opponents to any idea. A leader as a human being will also have an idea of what he likes or doesn’t like. But in the end and most times, neither the proponents or opponents are truly wrong. A leader discusses the idea and not the person. Where concessions can be made, they are. The idea is to find a new rule that both sides can find; not worth breaking.

  1. Leaders know what matters but are not masters of all.

The best part of a leader’s job is when they just get to listen. In this case, to just read pages upon pages of new knowledge or insights. Amongst all these group members are people well versed in their trades. They have gained various experiences being employed or self employed, building or buying, scams vs opportunities, married or single 😅😂 etc. In the cacophony of usual news, memes and small talk. We are surrounded by a wealth of doctors, engineers, finance experts, lawyers, analysts and many more. The best group moments are when a topic is raised and the experts in their various fields come out to play. Sometimes for hours or days. As a leader, this is the best time to sit back and let others drive the conversation.

  1. You can only manage but not lead those who don’t trust you.

In writing to thank the group members for the gift and the work they have done over the years, I mentioned that due to fundraisers, we have to walk the slippery accounting road. This in itself comes with its own height of trust but I am looking at trust in the wider sense.

People use groups as safe spaces to let out their opinions, sometimes personal news and frustrations. Whereas not all that they send out to a group will be received positively by everyone. They need to know that in the end, they are writing to a platform where they are respected and not judged unfairly.
Since group members being many cannot always be the ones to project that, it is upon the admin to make sure a member feels safe when they translate their thoughts into words. The same goes for a leader and when the people they lead present ideas to them. Members and employees will only be vulnerable with those they trust.


  1. Maybe you were meant to lead at different times, at different things

My commonly used name in high school was Kîmemia. I tried to get the rest of my dormitory (we all know that is where the name that sticks is wrought) to call me Edu or Edwin to no avail. Some might think I lacked pride in my African name. My issue? I was the only one. It was or remains that rare. And yes I know we have had a CS by the name.
However, this meant once my name was on a punishment black book. There was no escape to be found. I doubt many prefects ever took my admission number which was meant to be the great differentiator. This did however teach me and steer me towards activities away from that punishment parade but I digress.

The group members rarely use my name anymore, when they text me or call me. There are different monikers they use but bar the obvious one “Admin”, the 2 most common ones are Idi Admin (from when I would refuse to bend) and School Captain or SC for short.

In form 1, at the ripe (I say ripe because I was like a ripe round melon) age of 13, I got to be the one who had to stand next to the school captain on the parade ground. This was simply just by virtue of being a form one in the house that I was in. Many form ones before and after from my house have got to do this. I am not special. Here I go digressing again.

You see the school captain was a figure to be revered, the deputy school captain was to be feared. More on that on another day or never. 😂 This meant I would spend time as we waited for the assembly to start imitating the SCs non smiling face and crossed arms, nonchalantly of course so as not to be discovered.

And that is as close as I got to being a prefect. 😂😂

Sure, the person I was then might be different from whom I am now. Even so, I do like looking back on the past when I can even if to just glean one last ounce of wisdom from the experiences. I got to remember that 2 years after high school I was leading and training a salsa dance troupe to collegiate competitions. In campus, I was a French class representative and French Club Chairman. (I am not writing my CV I promise, I have a point.😅). I also happened to be the class representative in the other campus.

Of note is that some of these positions of leadership I took up myself while others were bestowed upon me. I don’t know what exactly changed and when it changed between high school to then to now.. Did it happen due to confidence gained on stages acting or dancing? Did it happen because I was doing something I love? One thing I do know is everyone has their place to lead. Even in a team that already has a formal leader. Be it in something that excites or a new uncomfortable place. All I can look back and say now is that: When it was my time to lead, I didn’t even notice it happen. So take your chance, today!

“Wisdom must be acquired. Experiences must be examined. Lessons must always be learnt.”

#IAmKenyan, Deep and overstood, Life, Politricks


I write from the roots that hold me firm to my faith.
The seeds that germinate inside my cranium like the tree that I don’t cross.
I’ve been awake, my ALARM CLOCK rang a decade ago.
Eyes have been dead set on the living evolving colony.
Alone, didn’t want a loan but now everyone’s blowing up their phone.
The gaps from scraps to burps getting WAY TOO BIG.
Metal trucks drive away with the earth’s vibration.
Though “wenyenchi” and their actions are NAUGHTY BY NATURE.
I still find the rhythm in my lack of naughty despite their nurture.
Before TIME FLIES away from us and we never get to speak the Sauti of our soul.
Let me tell you a SECRET as we follow the FLAME to enlightenment.
The same one that burned within Wangari and scorches when ONYEKA speaks.
Your parents are strong but your ancestors were AFRICAN GIANTs.
Read the wrong books and now look at the MONSTERS YOU MADE.
You were meant to be huge, a big man oga.
In cracked mirrors you created the illusion of an ogre.
Walked down your throne and yet you’re royalty in REAL LIFE.
Take this journey I will tell you WETIN DEY SUP.
At 23, looking out to the universe from OluwaBandit’s lap.
How beautiful and WONDERFUL because with love came laughs.
The past is the past, wisdom says I should walk TWICE AS TALL.
The most important part is that I answered His call.
There’s memory in my forgiveness, I NO FIT VEX.
There’s also strength in my mind than what you see in pecs.
I can already see the ladder, my feet are already stepping up.
I choose to walk for the scenery, I fly when I LEVEL UP.
I see we are walking the same journey now that everyone has come out.
About to rouse the entire galaxy from its coma.
I am not done learning but this knowledge you can BANK ON IT.
It’s why I choose to end this monologue with a COMMA,


(d)ivine musings #4

“Romeo & Juliet

Act I

Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sampson: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sampson (to Gregory): Is the law on our side if I say ay?
Gregory: No.
Sampson: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
Gregory: Do you quarrel, sir?
Abraham: Quarrel, sir? No, sir.”

My lower lip is almost always red or scarred as it is in this photo. This reminded me of an older photo on this profile 6 years back when one of my sisters commented that I’d burnt it with alcohol. 😅😂

The truth? I bite it. A lot. Throughout the day. When writing, like right now. When analysing data. When musing.
This would seem a bad habit but considering in high school I was chewing on my inner cheek, I have made progress. To put it in further perspective my recently wed brother will almost cut his tongue off when working. The more manual the labour, the more that tongue is held between the front teeth. An artistic friend of mine used to chew through one of her knuckles when painting. And darn could she paint!

What is the lesson of the day? There is usually none. Just closing another open tab in my brain. However, I wondered. If we were Capulets, how many Montagues would we offend with our wayward biting? How many people do we currently offend? Have we started lifelong quarrels? 😅😂😂

And if we have, did you just see the offence and miss the art we were creating?

Kenya, Life, Love

Love in the time of Corona

Have you ever visited the Nairobi National Park, Amani?
On an open top van surrounded by nature and its eyes, with no civilization in sight, as you push away daydreams of the man-eaters of Tsavo?
To stand where your forefathers stood as they prayed for your destiny?
I want that one more time.
I want to be lost on a street in Delhi, to feel the energy before the lights turn green and a hundred tuk tuks breeze by.
I want another meal in Douala, to get my muscles infused with plantains washed down with a soda that is too large.
I want another roadtrip and then another.
I want the warmth of a wooden fire in Meru, cooled by the breeze coming from the river.
One more night of spoken word at stages past and future.
I want to stand on balconies and share ideas with strangers who become friends when the sun is up.

Walk on the Eletric avenue again.
Climb the Longonot.
Ride the Sagana river.
Dance like the age of the discos.

I want to go out and make as many new experiences as I can.
But most of all I want to survive. I want to live my dreams, see what becomes of the man.
Give me that chance. One more time.
That’s why I won’t allow that virus out there to get my mind from me, let alone the last of me.

AH, Deep and overstood, Life, Love


If I make friends with the shrouded paths at an early age.
May satin be my garment and roses make pillows for my head.
May the dawn’s sunlight glitter on the river.
As the acoustics whisper their farewell via a song of love.

I turn for one last look at the mirror and realize I never saw the right reflection.
It’s the things you don’t win that wrap your mind the most.
And no manner of antidotes will get me by.
Expired drugs can get you high or Higher.

There is no universe in which I win.
There is no galaxy in which I shine.
Darkness has covered me like a new commandment.
And that is why it breaks me.

AH, Deep and overstood, Life, Love, Politricks, War


In the abyss we snuggle with our demons then send them out for coffee in the morning.
In the abyss we need no serenity.
Because you accept what is and what isn’t. Then throw change on the difference.

In the abyss, there is no reality or dreams. Just calming nightmares.
In the abyss, we strangle hope with our heart chords.

In the abyss, we never open our eyes.
In the abyss we don’t look for the light.
For only in the darkness does our skin glow.
In the abyss there are no reflections.
Just deflections of positive thoughts.

In the abyss there is no heartbreak.
Just the slow cranky hum of rusty pacemakers.
In the abyss there are no strings to hold us back.
In the abyss, the limit is every human.

In the abyss we write but never read.
For in the nuclear storm, we will be red all over.
In the abyss, we already survived WWIII.

In the abyss, we didn’t die, because we were never alive.

AH, Deep and overstood, Love

The purity in pain

Love is pain and pain is love.
The dreams of your affections make the nightmares of your reality.
Tears that won’t drop burn the hottest.
They travel down your spirit and singe your singing soul.
Buzzing through the air are the tacks holding the pieces of your heart.
Because you made your “ifs” into “whens” and God laughed.
The masses take another snort of the opium.
Forgetting grace still outweighs faith.
A crooked smile is all you can manage for now.
Happiness remains a journey and not a goal.

Memories remain the only comfort we have.
Hand forced into accepting the fake disparity.
The hottest cuts burn the deepest.
Only this time you can’t drop and roll.
Cupid switched his arrow for a lawn dart.
Doubled the hurt and here is; love halved.
You carried the load, swallowed my effort and still no equilibrium.
Because I’d been on my knees seven times, this is the eighth.
Your last act, exit the stage and take a bow.
We win nothing today for the future has taken it all.


I used to dance to the beat your hips wove.
But sad feet have the same rhythm as if they were guilty.
Words no longer change this hard time to the softest
Your lips remain the elixir that made me whole.
The sunshine has refused to play its part.
Our dreams can no longer be photographed.
Our family was to be nuclear, I was the plutonium.
Now in this foetal position, all I need is a swathe.
Mutual means I have half the mind to allow.
I cannot answer it, but only make the call.


(d)ivine musings #3



Here is the thing about life. It comes to an end. It is why it is paramount to live it when alive. The first of these photos (from the left) was taken on the morning of 15th January 2019 as I exited the lift from our 14 Riverside parking lot. Some would wonder, why take the time to snap a photo that early in the morning? Well you know one of those days, you just wake up energetic and happy, put on your favourite shirt and have the morning start off with success at any plans or errands for the day? This was what was happening right here.

Moving on swiftly to the second photo some few hours later which would find me hiding crouched underneath a desk amid a seemingly non ending series of explosions and gunfire. Some would ask why I would take a photo at such a time. Refer to the 3 starting phrases of these thoughts.

The third photo I took yesterday, Tuesday the 29th of January, in our new temporary office. This is exactly 2 weeks after the now globally recognized #RiversideAttack.

Many would expect that I am referencing these photos and the events surrounding them in order to maybe discuss the event, my thoughts on it or even trauma from such an experience; but many as the thoughts maybe about all that, this is about my lessons from the event and life overall.

I have previously discussed existentialism in this blog and the questions or feelings I have about the whole idea of life and living. It would then not be too absurd to arrive at this kind of article after having such an experience, losing friends/acquaintances and experiencing just how much life is in a minute.

When you lose friends you had not met in a while as probably has happened to some of us, our first resolution is always to make more effort in meeting friends or family. My thoughts on this is that whilst this is a great idea, what needs to matter more is the quality of the time we choose to share with these people. I have observed that the kind of “hanging out” with friends that we have nowadays become accustomed to at a cafe, a bar, a road-trip has become an expensive affair. As such, “friends” meeting has become dictated by budgets and how far or close to the pay period the month is. And when it finally does happen, the choices of meeting places we get means we barely get a word in or find out how someone is doing. Mind you, I am not against the examples of hanging out mentioned above, they are in their way a form of living and must be experienced in equal measure too. But whatever happened to calling a friend for a 30 minute weekend visit just because you were in the area? Or passing by someone’s office to say hi because you were in the building? The quality I speak of is getting in a good 30 minutes in to find out what is happening in your friend’s life, find out what dreams they are looking forward to, find out what help they might need or what help they might offer to you. My point is: Do not end up realizing how much you didn’t know your 5 year or 10 year friend after they are gone. This is because life is like a melting candle standing in a basin with a little water called the drip reaper 😁 at the bottom. Some of us get to burn all the way down whilst some of us have winds that might choose to blow out our flames long before we burn to the bottom of the basin.

In relation to the above, the second realization is on how much we attach to the “memory” people will have of us once we are gone. We assume the more money we accumulate, the more fame we gain, the more power we attain or grab, that the longer our memory shall be held. My idea of leaving a legacy is not how far reaching the legacy is but how deeply rooted it is and how deeply it gets felt. Whether religious or not, we make choices every single day that determine the course our life will take. Same as with actions that become habits. As Key & Peele would put it CONSEQUENCES!!

Assuming the earth is around for another 2000 years or better yet 5000 more years. The most famous of today’s world, the legends of our generation, one day would be lost on everyone. My nieces have no idea who Bob Marley is. Sad, I know. There would come a whole new human generation that would have none of this history but in bits and pieces trying to piece things together like we currently try to do of any “Atlantian” civilization. Don’t quote the Internet and all we store there to me. 2 words, super virus. The technology we currently laud that would seem so insignificant after thousands of years. This is coming from someone who has lived through the introduction of mobile phones in Kenya, playing Towers of Hanoi on a Motorola T2288, to the first popular touchscreen phone (The Huawei Ideos) up to the level of technology and possibilities that are in a current smartphone. I have also lived to see the year 2000 or 2012 or quite soon possibly 2020 mentioned as “The Big Grand Future” in movies with all types of gadgets and gizmos and flying cars. This means anything is possible. We might regress (some people don’t believe in Global warming) or make leaps or bounds beyond what seems currently human in a few years. Leonardo was being crazy just some 500 years ago right?
It is hence my opinion that a legacy makes its journey across the sands of time because of whom you affected and how you affected them. When we choose to be better friends, better neighbours, better human beings, our small legacy changes lives years after we are gone. Your story could travel informally through more generations than a legacy created for the news might.

This is why as you are busy living which is very much the entire theme of this misshapen train of thought, do not let reality kill your dreams. Yes, reality, the financial duties we face and the comfort we so crave is something we must observe in order to sustain ourselves for a longer life but let not that longer life be just years added to a meaningless existence. Even if life forced you off your music career, never stop singing, for your friends, for your family, for your kids, till you cannot anymore. If the world won’t read enough of your work to make money from it, don’t stop writing, be it for your own catharsis or for your 10 readers, always have a hand dipped in what you love most.

And in the end as my smile on the 15th and that on the 29th depicts, as long as I breathe, I shall get up, let my feet hit the floor and oh crap to you life, because I’m up!

#Excelsior !!


(d)ivine musings #2

I always love having nostalgic moments about the past, my past. Of course nostalgia has a way of always highlighting what was “greener” then, what made for amazing experiences etc. In fact even something we were worried about at the time like dealing with a cop, recovering from a hangover is always remembered amidst laughter and talk of the “good ol’ days”.

When I think of my past, I do remember various things in my life that by definition maybe should have affected me negatively but they didn’t. And sometimes I wonder why not? I recall stages in my life.

I checked into Alliance High school, straight outta the countryside, round as a pumpkin and without a clue the sound of the letter “L” existed. As expected having the same waist size as my pants length was good fodder for disses in high school. Of course this did not last long because Kenyan high schools’ (I need to qualify this by saying public schools) food and sports somehow make you drop your weight like it is hot (it might be, what with all the adipose tissue). But while it lasted, I was the butt (I wanna say my butt but I’m trynna edutain right now) of most jokes. Added to the fact that I was spitting them RRRRRRRhymes so hard that dreadlocked Busta must have been jealous.

Then comes life after high school. Love for long hair means old school cornrows while living in Buru and having to deal with the teasing by the conductors. (Seems so ordinary for a man to have long hair nowadays doesn’t it?) But that was still not as bad as when visiting the Kenyan coastal region and I had to learn that msenge has nothing to do with being a billy goat. Baddddummmm beattttingsssss by Redsan.

In retrospect, I realize I went through all that with a smile on my face. I never even got angry at anyone. I have no idea why because right now my temper flares up from 0 to 100 real quick. What is of importance is the fact that I don’t seem to have got any recurrent mental or emotional scarring from it.

What has been my conclusion about how I handled all that? Parenting. Since I was a tiny tot, I was taught that nothing someone said about me could hurt me. I took the stick and stones rhyme too literally. And that was good, great even. There were so many confidence building moments I can recall that made me the person I was then and that I am now.

I am not a parent, as to my knowledge, so I am not trying to teach how to be one. But being the product of good parenting, I believe I do have the right to reflect on the experiences I notice in my life. As a grown man now, I can make the choices on whom I would like to be as a future father. I have very many experiences that differ from what my parents went through. But, if I could do half the parenting my parents did, I will count it as a success.


(d)ivine musings #1

Have you ever thought about music and the “best” musicians of the world? It is not crazy to say that the recognition and “success” that one finds is usually quite dependent on chances that one gets. This could be due to a country one is born in, the state (social and financial) of family one is from amongst many other factors. Nicki was found on a MySpace page (yes that was a thing youngins), Eminem might not have been without his persistence and Dre’s faith in him. Sadly these chances don’t happen for everyone. For we all lead such different lives.

It would not be surprising to find out that the singer with a higher octave range than Mariah or more versatile than Beyonce will never be renown. And such is the same with so many other talents we all have. But one must remember, past the riches and glory of “making it”, there is a truer calling for your talent; your audience.

The message you pass onto them, the lives you inspire, the hands you figuratively hold and the people you bring together. So it just might be that the best singer’s message was not meant for all the world, but just a few thousand people. This could be why they never got signed. The role of your talent might mean more to ten of the few thousands than it might for millions more. Does that mean your talent has lost its meaning? Has no place in the world? No. Work at it, fight for it, hone it and share it. Your chance might be coming or could already be here.

Never stop singing.