Deep and overstood, Love

My Last Song


There used to be a time.

I would form poems in my mind, before I wrote them down.

Such a time now seems like a distant memory.

Now, the letters just fall off my fingers.

The words choke me on their way out.

They rap softly at my door.

Then hop all over, the moment I let them in.

Maybe it is because we are joined at the hip.

You are the tune that no longer kills me softly.

You watch me rolling up this hill like this heart is in need of Zion.

The rocks at my feet try to build a wall that stops my rhythm.

This song that claims the dust you shake off.

Your feet move to the whistling of the wind between the grasses that now beckon you to their roots.

My eyes remain fixated on your face.

Watching a teardrop of joy mark your left cheek.

The whispers of angels brush your eyebrows.

Carving a straight path to your mind where a classical ballet is in motion.

I’m conducting with all my soul to the beat of your heart.

Feelings are electric and in spirit we dance to this music.

We form our own country amidst the watchful eye of these folks.

Don’t they see that we form a shield against all their judgements?

They can try all they want but this house stands not on just rock but hard metal.

Their voices can try match our crescendo but we choose to ignore their innuendo.

I care nothing for their alternative sounds when I’m in awe of the soundtrack to my heart.

I am captivated and held in a trance so my wings can grow painlessly.

This is the new age and the alleged allegro of our love will not faze us.

They do not understand that I am ok with you becoming my blues.

The repression of my depression is no longer needed.

The melancholy of my notes now just makes for easy listening later on.

It is only in this pin drop silence that my drum and bassline can be heard as it approaches from afar.

It is only then that I can make out your words.

It is here and now that I can see you for who you are.

The only way you can leave me singing of the revelation of the gospel of pure and true love.

Your lips beat me out of the box so my mind can be open to the impossible.

This way I don’t have to ask for your hand in marriage but your heart with courage.

You have become my nonexistent path that I do not plan to leave on the trail I have created.

I drop more bombs on my burning bridges.

Because, I have arrived at the castle whose keep I have no plans of leaving.

I no longer put my emotions in check but place love under siege.

If I’ve broken so many hearts maybe this hitman finally needs a bodyguard.

After being tone deaf for so long I now have the right pitch.

Zigzag sidewalks try to make me lose my way to this opera.

Ready for the beat to drop so I can string my bow.

Advance swiftly to the front of the choir just before the instrumentals set the speakers ablaze.

I pluck a few notes to introduce her as my new melody.

You might need to stay seated for this orchestra.

double_infinity_by_codenameparanormal-d6o6rdx
Image source: https://codenameparanormal.deviantart.com/art/Double-Infinity-403423269

 

Advertisements
Deep and overstood, Love

Seeking my hide


I apologize for any time I have not given a damn.

I provide a new excuse for every fourth quarter I have lost.

This sight is now yours only.

I gave up trying to spell love.

I have chosen to be loved and lost in your spell.

I remember when I used to be so high that my feet barely touched the ground.

You became my new drug.

I’m now walking away from Mars towards a new heaven.

I’m tired of my blood soaked pages.

It is time I wrote in new ink.

 

Maybe cracked hearts seep love more easily.

Maybe cracks hurt those who fight them.

Today, I embrace the results of my id.

I am no longer fighting the consequences of my ego.

I guess I am feeling super.

I am lost in dreams of you.

You only step in for some moments to hold my hand.

How then can it be that you are an angel in reality?

I choose not to exist but you give me a reason to live.

Learning lessons of my ludicrous and lackadaisical life.

Shedding scabs and letting the wounds show.

 

I’m tired of hard hearts feeding my feral nature.

I can’t see your smile because I’m lost in your eyes.

I can’t smell you because I’m embracing everything around you.

I can’t taste you because I’m devouring my old self.

Wisdom is of no use if I keep falling on the same path.

A man is more than his word, even when plural.

That is why what you perceive is greater than what I can say here.

You make me want to be selfless.

But even that feels self-serving when I try to walk in your steps.

 

I’d say I’m a prisoner of your soul.

But I searched for the keys and walked into this cell.

It’s not a mutiny when I want to take a swim within you.

Can’t you see me defending to the death your right to drown me?

Believe in my opposing and hidden nature coming out.

I no longer dumb down my words just because I’m scared of heights.

The fog feels like a past hangover fading off from my last drop of liquor.

Maybe my fingers getting stuck in your hair is a sign.

Maybe the sound of you saying my name is the new elixir.

What is for sure is that I’d want you to be mine.

But my battered old ghost is whispering in my ear.

It is better to be yours.

Deep and overstood, Hip hop, Life

The rest are in pieces


“I woke up this morning and figured I’d call you
In case I’m not here tomorrow
I’m hoping that I can borrow a piece of mind
I’m behind on what’s really important
My mind is really distorted
I find nothing but trouble in my life
I’m fortunate you believe in a dream
This orphanage we call a ghetto is quite a routine
And last night was just another distraction
Or a reaction of what we consider madness”

Living in my mind
Questioning the queues of pain that we file ourselves in
The life we live, we compare
With others, tell ourselves we’re better because someone is worse
We are the devils we see in the mirror
We hope that we know ourselves
Better than we know our health
Going mental
Asking God for better cards
Sometimes in anguish wondering about his existence
Which we greatly applaud when better times arrive
Even for a second
Looking at the last time we were truly happy for 24 hours
With a smile that was not triggered by memes and sitcoms
Getting nostalgic because reality has hit you
It has become a nightmare you dream of each night
Cuddle your demons, let them snuggle closer
Then feel them massage your back as you kneel down for prayer each morning
Wondering why you’re looking through the window when He said you should knock
Out there hunting wondering whether that counts as seeking
It’s a sickness, a cancer hiding in your left ventricle
Playing poker with your newly formed clot
Your heart keeps skipping beats for the wrong reasons
Staring up hoping to see Him in the sky
But getting lost in the melting of your sunscreen by the glare of your sins
Trying to find the definition of success in your bank balance
That leads you to your payslip and injections of investments
Leaving tracks on your once strong arms that are now too weak to carry the weight of the world you have shouldered
Do the measly coins handed out to street kids add up to your tithe?
Is your soul as successful as the grated cheese falling off your abs?
Or are you the new Gluteus Maximus Meridius looking for revenge where Genghis left off?
Do you end up in this hell on earth because you’re not using your God given talents?
Would you be happier writing rhymes for a living and taking 4 vehicles to get to the only home you can afford?
Do the lies you tell yourself of how Cole and Kendrick are your inspiration make you breathe easier?
When you know you were still loving, living and lost in the alliteration of poetic injustice years before they put track on record?
Does it not hurt everytime you try to make sense of everything?
Try to have a happy and fitting ending to these thoughts that you call poems?
When you’re simply just:

“Tired of running
Tired of hunting
Answers to life
But retiring nothing
Your driver just veered of a cliff
Hands on the wheel, who said we wasn’t?
Dying of thirst
Dying of angst
Dying of lust”

The Divine Bandit ’17 ft. Excerpts from Kendrick Lamar