Crush, Deep and overstood, French, Life, Swahili


To be ama kutokuwa? Cela c’est la question.
It has been six months since I started #APOEMADAY.
In those days I have suffered at the emotional carousel.
The highs, the lows and the lowest have smacked me.
And the plateau became just plain existence.
My inner cries hit the highest decibel.
But I had to grab the reins and not just let life be.

Mawazo yalonikera niliweza kuyafuta.
Mwelekeo kageuza na tabasamu kajitwika.
Talanta kaipa nafasi tena.
Moyo kaufungua, mahaba yasipige hata hodi.
Hazikupita kadhaa nukta.
Kidosho aliwasili na roho yangu ikawika.
Mashairi kayaandika, hisiya zangu kazinena.
Mapenzi kayakomboa bila kulipa hata kodi.

Elle est arrivée dans un second.
C’était un tel beau week-end.
Ses yeux angéliques et diamantés.
M’ont fait de prier d’être accepté.
Elle ne connait pas encore mon existence.
Mais j’espère mes poèmes me donneront l’avance.
Pour le moment, je ne vais que la remercier.
Pour la deuxième chance d’amour qu’elle m’a accordé.

Crush, Deep and overstood, Life


I am dreaming, fast sleeping.
I am at the end of my challenge, fast typing.
I am pretty happy, thanks to this past weekend.
A girl I am invisible to; is fast emerging.
She gave me back my first faith.
She smiled and pulled me from the depths of my last leaving.
Deep from my heart I burst beating.
It is the reality, I’m not just writing.
Winning this battle is a must thing.
I am no longer cursed fighting.
Her voice is the one that nursed healing.
It rejuvenated my joy, no pursed smiling.
Free and shining, the rust falling.
I have escaped my worst wailing.

My friends understand when I say I am mesmerised.
They do know how far I have been in the abyss.
But now I am out, cue my alertness.
No more stress for at least this vision I possess.
I must raise the awareness as I daily confess.
I hope my crazy poetry she accommodates.
For it’s the only way I know how to impress.
The way maybe treacherous but I will trudge on nonetheless.
She has raised to a new peak my aesthesis.
It is time to assess as I wait for further progress.
With a sprinkle of luck, we shall mentally congress.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


Woken up by a loud noise.
Confused and grabbing at the blankets.
My internal bullshit alarm has gone off.
I can barely see through my sleepy eyes.
I rub them a bit but it just makes it worse.
Not sure whether last night’s tears made them so red.
Or it’s just the insomnia that has been for the past month.
I am trying to take in my surroundings.
I am feeling lost as nothing seems familiar.
I am all alone in bed.
Sleeping on both pillows.
The curtains now blue and the walls black.
The darkness starts to get to me again.
I can see my finger moving to hit the snooze button.
I am falling asleep again.
Shutting my brain out from reasoning.
Sweet dreams slowly engulf me.

Wake up, wake up, wake up it’s the 1st of the month.
To get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up.”
Damn that alarm again!!
I grab at my glasses.
Aha! This is way better.
I can see the cobwebs now creeping around windows.
Trying to shut off all the light.
I am no longer one with the world.
I can’t let this happen.
I have been here before.
And I know all too well what follows.
I know I need to get up.
Put my feet down, shower and step out.
But first I get my phone.
Alarm, options, delete, “Are you sure you want to delete?”, yes”
Alarm deleted.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


I have been a pirate and now I am marooned.
I have plundered my fair share of booty.
My beard now grows thick when it was once well-groomed.
My skin once fair now appears sooty.
My ship was stolen and now here I gave up on a makeshift raft.
I saw it sail away with all my dreams and hopes.
My sole companion now is this fire that I waft.
My soul feels bound as if by strong ropes.
I have had my last bottle of liquor, my last smoke.
The island noises keep me awake at night.
All alone now I can barely remember when I last spoke.
Even my last song ended with my will to fight.
The days of plundering are now behind me.
My flag was taken down and now serves as my only blanket.
There is no more life to be.
My only comfort this amethyst locket.
Tonight I just used the last of my dry wood.
For all my past sins, now I pay.
Chewing slowly on my last morsel of food.
From tomorrow I will watch my life ebb away.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


He sits alone at the airport.
Even with the crowd around him.
He is in a world of his own.
Where only she exists.
Or doesn’t.
His night and day is her presence or absence.
And it has been a 6 month eclipse.
He wallows in his own deep waters.
He cannot drown in them and Everlast in his ears.
Hemorrhage in his heart which she once fueled.
She now rides 30 seconds from this man.
They are no longer the kings and queens they once were.
This has been war and they missed all the small things.
Blinking on highway 182 they lost sight of the cure.
Zombies walk these dark nights.
Cranberry coloured old blood drips down the path amidst all the fray.
I lost a friend tonight and she will no longer be loved.
We were the only citizens of one republic.
Is it really too late to apologize?
See how he moves.
His feet dragging, shoulders hunched.
And a smile that does not reflect in his eyes.
That cloud of smoke that follows him.
As he runs out of shot glasses and drinks from the bottle.
Father, tell me something.
Where do broken hearts go when they die?
Maybe I should beg for love on the streets.
Take back my nickel from the street mime?
He walks out to the runway.
It is time to leave.
He almost misses leaving the ground bus.
Absorbed in a no love chorus.
He got the best seats in the house.
For the first time.
He looks up.
”Emergency exit, pull in case of emergency”.
He smiles. If only love had such.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


Love is a beautiful thing.
Losing it is one of the saddest.
The nostalgia eats at your inner self.
And every waking thought becomes painful.
Real love is worse.
You fall so deep you almost can’t climb out.
Or maybe you don’t want to.
It would mean giving up.
Becoming a quitter at love.
Is like quitting your life altogether.
How do you explain it?
How it is not just one favorite song that makes you sad?
It is the first song she danced to.
The first song you made love to.
Or maybe even a whole genre that she introduced to?
How do you explain why a happy song makes you sad now?
Why that song you sent to cheer her up now breaks you down piece by piece?
Why a part of your house can only be looked at from the corner of your eye?
Why you can’t make some meals anymore?
Why you only sleep on one side of the bed?
Why you can’t visit your favorite restaurant anymore?
Why you have to make new memories?
Only a person in your shoes can get it.
Why your poetry is now only world inspired?
When she was the sole inspiration before.
Why a flight away means so much and yet so little?
Why life seems slow?
Why every passing minute you wish would hurry up to the next hour?
The next day, the next week?
The next month, the next year?
So that you can forget.
As you have before.
The wheel spins.
I am watching and waiting.
To hit the jackpot.
Or lose it all.
Love is a beautiful thing.
The beautiful prize at the end of a gamble.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


Stared into the abyss but now I’m rising.
Lost a friend and a lover, call it downsizing.
Rejected, hurt and defeated.
Torn, shredded, felt dejected.
This is just life.
A new search for a would be wife.
Love never comes easy.
And the reasons to walk away are never flimsy.
I will miss her.
But I am no longer sitting at the bar.
She had lips of honey.
Her humour was more than funny.
But in the end I did not laugh.
For I had finally had enough.
I will miss her smile.
But all of it was not worth the bile.
I will miss her kisses.
For she is no longer my missus.
I will miss her googly eyes.
That made me miss all the lies.
I will miss her voice.
Not the fights and the noise.
I will remember that year.
Memories that I now kind of fear.
I will remember that first time.
First words I wrote, that first rhyme.
I will remember us.
Even after all this fuss.
I will miss her as I already do.
Never again her boo.
Without a doubt I loved this woman.
But it was no longer fun.
Games were played.
And I wish she had stayed.
I will remember what she meant.
I will miss the love I lent.
I will miss you.
I will remember you.
I might always love you.
But one thing is for sure.
Never again will I be with you.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


I’m sinking, I fell but I can get up.
Bob Marley was right.
Everyone hurts you.
And we always make the mistake of who is worth it.

Social peers, watch out for that social beer.
Social media has soon become my social fear.
Belief, faith and love being shook.
Can’t hide my heart in a book, my hurt in a look.
I’m writing, the challenge almost complete.
The end I had hoped for was not to be.
A reason for everything, a season for all.
Ecclesiastes quoting, emotions coating.
Everyday something new.
Loving and losing, a familiar hue.
Shameless lust.
Blameless slut.
Love is patient, love is nuts.
Grief, acceptance, anger, I mix them up.
Murderous though not as treacherous.
My poker face wins the Oscar.
Like cheating in his car.
I write, I keep writing.
My pen is my sword.
I tear myself apart and let the demons out.
I have to write, have to keep writing.
No tears, that is worse than when one can sob.
How much the wicked can rob.
Lonely weekends.
This here is my soul.
This here is my heart hurting.
This here is my story.
This here is a door closing.
This here is my honesty.
This here is my loyalty.
Smashed, stepped on and soiled.
This here, this here.
This here is not the end.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


Key in the ignition.
That sound that makes my hair quiver.
Engine purring.
Gave it some gas and sped off.
Changing gears.
Faster and faster we went.
Through the city and to the countryside.
The plains are beautiful.
Covered in green grass and flowers.
No gas stations in sight.
No care as I have a full tank.
Cops just wave me by.
You are good to go.
As they admire the car’s glimmer.
Wheels need no change.
Brand new and one with the road.
DUI, yes I am under her influence.
The whisper in my ear.
The breeze in the other.
”Drive faster”, she says.
”We might get an accident”, I say.
Coming closer to the city in the sun.
Traffic is piling up.
Spurt, engine chokes, the gas is done.
But we get off and push.
All the way to the finish line.
Another race, car fueled.
Key approaches the ignition.

Deep and overstood, Life, Love


Accustomed allure.
Burning bridges.
Constant crashes.
Devilish dependence.
Erotic excitement.
Fantastic flawlessness.
Gorgeous girl.
Heightened happiness.
Insidious intelligence.
Jutting jugular.
Killing kiss.
Loving light.
Mystical madness.
Notorious nymph.
Orgasmic ode.
Pious pretense.
Quantifiable questions.
Righteous rock.
Staggering sadness.
Tenacious treachery.
Unfulfilled usurping.
Vengeful villain.
Wanton waste.
Xenial xenogamy.
Zealous zealot.